This motto changes my relationship with hustle culture
PLUS: Cool job at Motherly!
Welcome back to Lunch Break, a weekly newsletter + modern guide to a meaningful career from career coach Janel Abrahami. Brought to you by Pivot With Purpose career coaching program.
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I grew up with a warped view of work.
I’m the daughter of an immigrant dad who hustled to build a successful business from scratch (and in broken English), has been promising to retire for the past 10 years, and has kept a 4am-7pm work schedule for as long as I can remember.
I’m the daughter of a mom who was the first in her family to earn an advanced degree (while working full time), and was the first woman leader on her IT team of 20+ years.
And I’m the granddaughter of a three-tour Vietnam Air Force-veteran-turned-entrepreneur whose stories of making my mom, aunt, and uncles “toughen up” are anecdotes shared at family gatherings (don’t worry, they weren’t too bad).
In my family, overworking is honorable and time off is a luxury.
And here I am, a childless 30-year old woman with the privilege of quitting my corporate job and starting my own coaching company during a pandemic.
I’ve gone to therapy to heal from burnout.
I’ve made progress in separating my work from my worth.
I’ve spent the past year and a half coaching other millennials in reclaiming their relationships with their careers.
And still, part of me feels like I have to prove myself, mostly to my dad and grandpa. The conditioning to be seen as a “good, hard worker” runs deep, and it still sabotages my effort toward balance sometimes.
So: How does a woman raised with First Gen and military influences honor her desire to “make something of herself” and care for her wellbeing in ways that she knows are right for her, but might seem indulgent to her elders?
I’ve created a new motto for myself in an effort to reframe my relationship with ambition and work ethic:
Reach. Rest. Repeat.
I think of it as a cycle, much like the seasons of the year, instead of a linear timeline on which I must get as far as possible.
I reach for my potential and the big goals I have for making an impact. This can look like longer nights in front of my laptop, hours of refining a growth strategy, a marathon of PWP curriculum refreshes, or navigating the rollercoaster that is a live launch (IYKYK).
Then, I relish in rest. Not rest that I have to earn, but rest that is the natural counterbalance to intense effort. Rest that I anticipate, proactively schedule time for, and talk about with those close to me so they know that boundary is approaching, too.
Reach. Rest. Repeat.
A tide that flows in and out, time after time.
Waves that roll in close together sometimes, or further apart other times.
I reach, knowing the rest will come.
I rest, knowing another reach is on its way.
I remind myself that this duality will be a modern example of ambition to any generations to come after me.
Reach. Rest. Repeat.
Janel Abrahami, Career Coach
📲 Screenshot & share your favorite part of this issue and tag @janelabrahami
👀 ICYMI (more from Janel + team)
When five different friends texted me about Taylor Swift’s forthcoming album, something clicked →
When the timing of life feels out of your control, remember this →
✅ CURRENT FAVES
LISTEN: Brene and Barrett on Living Into Our Values
Released at the top of the year, researcher, professor, and everyone’s cool aunt Brene Brown chats with teammate Barrett Guillen for a no-BS look at what our values actually mean to us. Plus: the duo helps listeners identify behaviors that get in the way of truly living our values and how to mitigate them in the future.
JOIN: Groove Digital Coworking
In an effort to combat the loneliness that comes from WFH and/or a solo career, the team at Groove created an app to coordinate seamless virtual coworking sessions. Groove, IMO, is where flexibility meets focus: “Write your next blog post, finish a presentation, make a vision board, or remember to take your lunch. What you do in the Groove is up to you, but you’re sure to get sh*t done and have a good time while you’re at it.”
READ: Can Parents Make Time for Deep Work?
Going down a Groove rabbit hole, I found this article by Product Designer Tova Safra. She takes (in my child-free opinion) a realistic and supportive approach to finding space for that ever-elusive deep work while caring for humans and a household.
📌 COOL JOB (remote-friendly + mission-based)
Title: Sr. Manager, Sales Marketing
Company: Motherly
Location: Remote or NY
Description: The Senior Sales Marketing Manager will play a key role in supporting the Media Sales team by building best in class proposals + sales materials. The ideal candidate is a data-driven problem solver who can think outside the box to create innovative marketing solutions.
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💌 Forward this letter to a friend!
☕ If you’re feeling super generous, you can buy the team a coffee!
#takeyourlunchbreak 💚